and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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