We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize