Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
