Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
