When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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