if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
cat food counts as protein by the way
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize