i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
