god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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