yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
