How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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