She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
