i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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