i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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