good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He better not be in your backpack
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
