We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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