An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
why do cheetos always look like penises
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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