i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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