you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
