sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
you win again, gameday.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
