Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
