I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
