I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize
