doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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