Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize