I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
