just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
