is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
God, you're like boner-b-gone
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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