I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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