it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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