I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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