This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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