ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
