i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
