Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
