I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
