So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize