According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
