So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
