She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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