I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
