OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize