His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
