Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
