he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
jump out the window naked night went bad
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
