apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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