Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
