I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
