i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
