u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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