i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
My pussy is not your playground.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
