I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
