Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
