Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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