Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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