We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
