Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He felt like a one man threesome
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
