This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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