Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
