there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
His hands were made for my vagina.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
