the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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