I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
