We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize