Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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