I cockslap morals
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
