Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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