You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
