So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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