so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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