please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
