This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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