When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
