and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
